Glorified Nonsense

So what the fuck is up with airline food, amirite?

If that didn't chase you off, then...awesome. You can sit through bad jokes. That's a skill you're going to need here because this shit is about to get wacky. I mean, it's after midnight here. I worked all day, I have to work again in like, six hours, and I've spent most of the time I allotted for "awesome stuff" bitching about how bullied kids are pussies and watching funny videos on the Internet. I'm living on the edge of my seat, is what I'm saying. Gabbing life by the sack and just...I don't know. Pulling on it? That sounds like kind of a dick move (hah!).

In fact, I don't even know that I have something to say. I'm just so damned happy to be posting something on here. I'd like to blame the holidays, you know, or literally anything but my own sincere and yet unbelievable laziness. But, no, just lazy. I've been reading and playing through Oblivion again and I've even spent some time at work doing things I get paid for, but the old blogosphere just sort of gets ignored in the fast-paced life I lead.

I'm still writing, though. Novels and what-not. I think if I ever tried to stop my colon would literally grow limbs, climb out of my body and devour me. Because that would be the ultimate way to shove my head up my ass (GET IT?). My blogs, though, I seem to go through spats. Like poetry. I'll go through a week or a month or four years of high school where I just compose like a mad...composer, fingers all aflutter and reams of words spilling out of my brain. And then, silence. Save for the long fiction, nothing comes. I've even got about a dozen posts I started writing on here (not to mention the other two blogs that I'm involved with because monogamy is just terrible, but don't tell this one because it gets jealous of the attention I give the younger ones). I just never finish them. I get a few sentences in and then I'm like, "Oh, right, porn is a thing I can do for free."

And then I remember that there are other people here and fapping isn't an option so I go outside and rake leaves or whatever.

I just realized two things. First, I used the word blogosphere and second, and more importantly, my browser didn't correct it. Is that an actual word now? Did I miss a meeting somewhere? It's not cool to do that to me, you guys. Don't just make stupid things socially acceptable and not tell me. If its a real thing I can't use it sardonically and if I can't use it sardonically I might as well just piss off.

For serious, though, I'm into this story. It's got everything. Comedy, boning, Vikings (kind of), zombies, badass action, characters and an intriguing plot or something. And I titled all the chapters using the names of metal songs, because fuck coming up with chapter titles and copyrights are for wusses.

And that reminds me.

Wait, no it doesn't. Nevermind.

There's something of literary merit in those last two lines, but I don't really know what it might be, honestly. Probably nothing. Just glorified nonsense.

Oh, dropped a title-bomb right in your mind parts. I win Internets.

Ridiculously Yours,
-S.R.