Sadomasochism

I want to take everything that makes you feel special and smash it. I want to make tatters of your life, tear down your banners, and leave you trembling. I want to leave scars on your forearms, on your thighs, on your hips. I want to see tears well up in your eyes, see you swallow them, straighten your back, and stand tall in the face of my rage. Then I want to beat the defiance out of you. I want to break bones and tear sinew, spill blood and shatter teeth. I want you cowering in a crumpled heap, too weak to move and too tired to try. I want to pull out your kidneys and toss them away, off in an alley, and then reach back in for something else vital.

When I'm done, I want only the trivial things to remain intact.

I'll burn your bridges for you, and fill the chasm with stakes. You can rebuild them, your bridges, but at the cost of your life. I'll topple your fortress, blast the the brick and mortar to dust, and ravage your skin with shrapnel. I want to hurt you.

I want to pin you down, strap you to a board, and hurl obscenities down your throat until you choke. I want to watch your face turn blue while the venom pours from my lips and into your body, fills your lungs like pneumonia, and strips the lining from your gut. Oh, I want to hurt you.

You've never done anything to me, have you? This is perfectly unreasonable. I'm intact, unimpaired. There's no retribution in this, no score to settle. But I want to rend your flesh and split your belly, to peer inside and see what you're made of, what lurks beneath the skin. I want to see if I can find your soul and pull it out. Then you'll be mine. I want you.

You've made your way inside me. I want to keep you there against your will. I want my body to be your body, my heart to be your heart, my brain to be your brain. I want to tease you, toy with you, destroy you as I see fit.

Neither one of us will survive this.

Atrociously Yours,
-S.R.