Misanthropic

Originally Posted: 11/9/08

Get your fucking claws away from me. Save your breath for someone else, the shit's too deep, there's no way out. Don't offer me your hand, the touch of you disgusts me. Turn your back, avert your eyes. I am done with you and your kind. I've spilled so many pieces of myself all for your benefit. So take the bit that's left and wrap it up in plastic. Put me far away, where I can't keep destroying me. And leave me there forever. I'm no fucking martyr, I refuse to be a saint, and if I see you here again I'll kill you where you stand. Hold your tongue. I'm not done yet. I guess you've never really lived if you live with no regrets. I'm sick. But you won't understand the context. So just sit back, relax, and soak in your own bullshit.

Picking through the carrion left behind your steps, I found secrets I'd hidden for decades and days. I thought all your sins were lost and mine arose anew, but all of a sudden I knelt and I cursed you. Gathered up the precious little fragments of my mind, and handed them to someone else, someone less divine. Yours are lips like heroin and I need to be clean, to burn off all the filth that somehow still adheres to me. There are lies here written like the truth that they conceal, and even more foul truths that reek of death and disappear. I am not the kind of man that dwells on what's to come. I'm far to busy looking back on what I should have done.

In the blink of an eye the blindness sets in. My eyes wither, decay in my head. But blindness here is not a metaphor for inner sight. I can't see shit on my insides. Just blood and guts and needless gore. Organs that I've hardly cared for. Toxins abound and the brain turns to mud, degenerating quicker now. And finally, I'm left with instinct, rage and lust and hunger. But I'm still left with enough to destroy you. Or myself, if it comes right down to it. These paltry lives aren't so vital, right? Surely God will save us from damnation.

Unreal.

And now I've got better shit to waste my time with.

Spat, shat, begat,
-S.R.